They say someone is doing what you love, simply because they are doing it. So someone is making cakes, even if I am better at making cakes. Since “they” are doing it, they are making the money, getting the high, laughing, smiling, feeling alive and satisfied. And I am designing widgets. And I hate widgets. But I can make them. And I make money. And I support myself. And I feel ok.
Which leads to asking if it’s ok if I am ok? I am. And yet, I could be making cakes, because I love making cakes. And I want to make cakes, and I have dreamed of making cakes. But how silly is it to make cakes? And what if I start making cakes, and I don’t like it? What if making cakes is stupid or I can’t find the flour I like? What IF it doesn’t work, and I can’t make widgets anymore? Or if I make more money making widgets, should I actually quit?
And so the story goes. And I don’t bake. And it’s not a secret dream. But we all do this. Every single day. With all sorts of things. And today it strikes me, not that we have these thoughts. Not that we humanly struggle with what is most pragmatic versus living a dream. It’s not that I am pushing you to understand that if you bake, today is your day…. I think the aim is to realize that we have the fucking freedom right now to make that choice. If you have ever wondered which of your talents to pursue, IF you have ever wondered how long you can make it in your “dream”, or written a pros/cons list about your dream vs. what is right now… it’s because you actually have the ability to decide. It strikes me today that we have freedom. Or that is what our lives are built on, the idea that we can mull it over or put together the spreadsheet or “wonder” if we could make cakes if we loved making cakes.
Let’s not forget right now in our history that our country is built on the “dream”. We are built on freedom. We are built on the sweat and blood and tears of those who had nothing and wanted a chance to build something based on freedom.
Let’s not forget that religion and racism and classism forced or afforded or a combination of both… to come to this country to fight for something different. And now, well, we are something different. Nothing to brag about. We have racism and classism and religion that overshadows what we stand for. I won’t state political parties, because I am registered as Indpendent.
But when we get too muddled in all this rhetoric, when we start to drown in our moral morass, when we stand too tall for something we don’t exercise, let’s remember what we love, what we believe in, what we want to continue to dream about.
It’s not that everyone lives the American dream, but many do. And we’re so far from where we began. Let’s remember today, no matter who you are, what you believe, how far you are willing to go to live what you dream, that we are all in this together. And living a dream, well, it’s become a nightmare. And we have chosen something in this election. And it’s almost HALF the country on either side! And I don’t care who you are, what you believe… AGAIN! Live your best life. But remember, we still live next to each other, work together, sit bed by bed in the hospitals, eat the same food, have access to the same social media platforms that feed us all what we want to believe more strongly.
Let’s not forget that we, WE are the Americans, and we still have to build a country, a future for our children. Let’s not forget. Please. We are all human. We are all deserving. We are Americans.
Peace, love and freedom ring.
Martini Meditations
With love,
CC