A lot of times we want the world to call out to us. We search for meaning, for clues, for messages from… God or psychics or friends or family or songs on the radio. We want to know what this or that means. We wonder who is the best for support, for love, for happiness, for strength, for meaning…
I read blogs and apps and and might even be doing one or several of the things above. And then.
I sat still for a moment. I put down my meditation app, my Pema Chodron book, my psychic cards from a fabulous new connection, my fervent prayer, my 2 hour conversation with a dear friend, my family’s generous love and time.
And there I was. Amidst the heap of help and healing and peace, lots of little chards of peace.
And
There
I
Was.
Buried underneath.
I am fine. I am whole. I am strong.
I was all along. I was already here. I was already ok. I was already thriving. I was getting in my own way.
It’s not that those things don’t matter. It’s not that those pieces of peace didn’t give me every stepping stone along the way. It’s just that the answers were to some question I couldn’t ask, because I wasn’t sure what it was. And I was afraid of failing. Oh, I was afraid.
And we all are. And it’s ok.
But maybe in my parenting I am finding my own answer to truths for myself. I told my son the other day, no matter what happens, you are ok. I just want you to know you are ok. Whatever is happening to you right now is dynamic. It will change. It’s not the end of your story. It’s today. And it hurts or makes you giddy. It heals or wounds. It laughs or cries. I know it hurts for you right now. But it’s not the end. It’s today.
And I wondered why I didn’t think that way more often for myself. It’s just today. It’s not the end of the story.
Yes, I’m getting repetitive.
And you’re welcome for that.
Unbury yourself.
Look underneath
The pieces of peace.
It’s just today.
It’s you.
You are fine.
Continue the journey.
And still do all those wonderful things!
Just don’t bury you.
With love,
CC