Some Vegas Highlights:
*Kids can’t do illicit drugs in Vegas. So without thinking we needed to explain this, my 5 year old found a loophole. He started snorting apple juice at breakfast.
*I made the mistake of saying, “People get naked in Vegas.” Both my boys perked up. My 5 year old began taking his pants off at the Treasure Island show. He was disappointed when I made him stop.
*On a positive note, my boys suggested I get naked in Vegas because I have such a cute butt. That was nice. Sadly, it wasn’t enough. I thought they might just be tricking me.
*Any show in Vegas that seems like it might be for kids is not for kids. I counted about 752 inuendos in the 5 minute Sirens Show at Treasure Island. But luckily the quality of the show was amazing… course I’m used to school programs where no one sings or dances well.
*Girls in bikinis at the pool always choose large groups of men to serve drinks to before they choose families. I don’t know why, but it was as if we were invisible. I WAS going to order drinks for all four of us, by the way.
*My husband and 8 year old having a splash contest at the pool wasn’t as cute and fun to the primpers nearby. Again, don’t know why, but I did notice the disgust on many faces.
*There are toilets every 30 miles or so on the strip. Not a problem. I told my 5 year old to pee through the fence, and I would look shocked and disgusted if anyone noticed. No one noticed.
*The most fun you can have in Vegas after snorting apple juice is running up the down escalators on the strip. I was pretty sure an old bitty was about to peel out of her skin showing her disgust at our negligence as parents, letting our kids act like this. I am pretty sure that was my impetus to let them do it over and over until she was out of sight. Bite me, lady. I am a way worse parent than this, so try to disgust someone else into feeling that shame.
*Lastly, crossing the border into CA is pretty crazy (we got lost for a second). In order to figure out if we were criminals, they asked us, “Where are you coming from?” We answered, “the black market… I mean—Phoenix, Phoenix, Arizona! Damn!!!” Ok, seriously we answered, “Phoenix”. But how was that supposed to decide whether we were smuggling drugs or illegal aliens? Next time, fill me up!