June 18, 2021

One Hue At A Time

The weirdest part of being human is you can’t believe each day goes so slowly sometimes.  Some years go by slowly and others, much too fast.  Some days turn into years or periods of time.  Some ominous seconds deconstruct the rest of your life.  And conversely, some seconds seem to change the color of your story as a family, a child, a mother, a trajectory, without warning.  And you feel the whisper of it as it passes quickly.  And you wish you could rewind it for a moment.  Your hands whip up to pull the screen back, just a second.  It happened.  You felt it! What a rush!  You want to feel it again!   

My dear, you can never live a moment over.  Not really.  You can remember it, but you can never live it again.  And that’s not sad or worthy of anxiety.  But you can live the next moment and the next.  When the color has changed to a more benevolent shade of light and darkness.  And the temperature begins to warm, but not too readily or too much.  It’s not just a moment.  You’ve done something.  You’ve experienced something that will continue to change.  And you won’t want to focus too much on the past moment because each one after that feels just as lovely as the last.  The jab of pain, the elation of excitement.  Well, it all feels better.   

There just isn’t much you can feel at the color you did before.   

You know what I’m talking about.  Even if it’s been awhile.  You know the feeling of life leveling up.   

Drink it up.  Keep living.  Until all you remember is that the past no longer matters because the color of today allows you to feel safe and loved and all that can happen or does happen, will still leave you– ok.   

I wish I knew the day.  But I don’t.  I just know that the empowerment of continuing to grow, of seeking growth, of living the best moments in all the right nows that I possibly can, has changed the hue of my life.  And I will never be able to go back.  And I can’t wait to keep moving forward.   

With love to you today.  

Never give up.   

The hue changes.  And keeps changing.  And I hope the hue of all the todays, glow with something warm and kind and secure. 

One hue at a time.