If you felt like you wanted to reach me, you should simply have held my hand
If you wanted us to share something, you should have asked me the question
And observed the answer.
And allowed me my response.
I would have given it to you vulnerably.
If you loved me so deeply, you should have held me with your heart
No rules for yourself or me
No standards that weren’t yours or mine.
But if you felt I didn’t reach those standards, you should have said it aloud.
You should have walked away if it wasn’t right
You should have made sure you held your life
In the shape you wanted it to be.
But instead you tried to control it, us, me.
Love feels good
You tried to shape it.
You tried not to complain.
But my love,
Those are the things resentment and self-pity are bred in.
Those are the things that will keep us from ever
Being ourselves.
That is the framework for making sure someone is what you
Feel they should be.
And much more simply
You should simply be you,
And me be me.
And when we collide, the good and bad
The everythings,
When we clash or make magic
Or anything in between–
You see them for what they are,
And continue to treat yourself with respect and kindness.
So that every moment we share is your authentic moment
My authentic moment too.
And not one focused on my reaction, on me.
Creating that space we become combined,
Only because our realities are dancing side by side.
No bending unrealistically.
No fear of losing this!
Those are the real times, the best times.
Because keeping this
At the loss of your own soul or mine,
Your needs or mine,
Is never going to be pure love.
But you won’t know this until you lose
Love.
And you are willing to lose yourself
For us, for love
But then I will be alone,
With a shadow I cannot love
Because it is a shadow of you.
And you won’t love me
For you will remember deep down
You sold yourself for me.
But I didn’t ask you to.
So only if you love yourself more,
More than us or fantasy or controlling the outcome,
Only THEN
Will we have a very reasonable and extraordinary
Chance to SEE what we truly have
Crystal clearly!
THEN we have a chance.
But until then, we have almost nothing
To fight for or dance through,
Or hold onto tightly
For holding tightly is the very way you lose
Someone who is free
And I, my love, am free
I don’t hold tightly.
For anything that is not mine–
Must leave.
But not because I pushed or pulled
But because it is meant for some time,
Not for eternity.
And that is still love
It is still magical and mysterious
And beautiful and fulfilling.
So don’t stay where sadness prevails
For we haven’t lost love.
We’ve gained.
We’ve gained this extraordinary time,
This exceptional interaction,
This beautiful song!
And that should be celebrated.
For the greatness of life is the magnitude with which
We celebrate the beauty of each moment.
Without holding on or painting the story
Differently.
Beauty is in the flow.
Flow free.
Set yourself free.
Set your heart free!
You are bound by your rules and integrity
But your greatness is not these things.
I hope you make mistakes and do things incorrectly
I hope you see your life will go on.
And all the things you knew,
Are not what they seem!
They are not darkness. They are light.
They are knowing yourself. They are beauty.
And you are ALL these things.
And controlling them
Is only pain. Let go.
Set yourself free.
I know this.
Because one day,
Long ago,
It was me.