My boys and I had a conversation in the car on the way to pick up Thursday night dinner, somewhere outside my kitchen. Cause that’s where the best food lies, many times.  

I have purposed to have a little “Life Talk” once a week with my kids. Just stupid stuff: budgets, self-help, healthy eating, working out, meditation, executive functioning, what you want to be one day, anything that comes up during the week.  

They hate-love it. Or love-hate it…. But I am not sure which, cause they ask for certain information and then they also make fun of it. But that’s probably their purposes in life. As teens, they despise the things they think I am lying about, but their hunch is that I could be right sometimes.  

But today I asked them to tell me one thing they like about themselves, followed by one thing they liked about each other person in the family. Cue theme: Self-esteem.  

It was a question whose first response was, “Do I have to participate?” by Zoom. And I responded, “yes” as mildly as possible, instead of with one of my quippish responses that only incites him to warfare. He conceded.  

He proceeded to share with us. And Mack and I played too, in my clever, life-changing game too. But Zoom said something that struck me. He had paused for an awkwardly long time, trying to come up with something he liked about Mack.  

And while I felt Mack ready to be slightly hurt… We both knew it wasn’t going to be gushy or inspiring. We were both just hoping for something without the silent dagger on the other side.  

Zoom said, “Mack, I wish you cared more what other people think. But I respect that you don’t.”  

Mic drop.  

While the smoke cleared from what could have been a rough hit, there was a hell of a compliment! The tears welled up, and I didn’t respond out loud. I was grateful he participated and that he didn’t dagger his brother.  

And it was fucking profound! In the process of saying what he could, with his best raw and gritty and profound and real words, he had given Mack the compliment of a lifetime. And he had laid out Mack’s very essence.  

And I thought… Maybe we could all hope for a compliment like that! We could hope for that compliment from someone who didn’t mean to don us with a Lifetime Achievement Award.  

Maybe we could all know our worth so deeply that someone who both loves us and hates us sometimes, sees that we are so deeply and truly ourselves, that despite the fact that we aren’t always accepted for who we are, we hold deeply to ourselves first. Mack does this. Every single day.  

He inspires me. And although Zoom didn’t use that explanation, his acknowledgement made me realize one day they will have a deeper bond. Its roots are working to find the depth and light to grow.  But they’re there.  

And without belaboring the conversation with them much more, with my mom mouth, my many words, I just moved on. And well, I wrote down everything I think here.  

To you all today! To those of us who hope to fit in, who work to fit in, who succeed to fit in, who hope to fit out, who work to fit out, who succeed to fit out.  

But specially today, to those, who is who they is and don’t play any side of the game. To those who live with great compassion, open-mindedness, and incredible care for others. May they rule the world one day.  

And still… cheers to us all!  

With love, 

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