I’m sitting at my computer. I’ve had a meeting this morning with RAW marketing, followed by a client call and resolution. I’ve had a little snack, some water, and I feel surprisingly calm and rational. I’m tired but oh so—-by myself! WOW!
It’s the first day of the rest of my life! BOTH of my kids are in school each day—all day?! And why didn’t I do this when they were 3 months old??? There’s got to be a preschool somewhere where they breastfeed for you, right?! I’m actually excited to tackle that oven that needs to be cleaned. I’ve dabbled in some creative juices. And I may even have a healthy dinner planned and halfway prepared.
I am going to study some documents for work… holy wow!!! I am going to clean a room in my house, too!
I had a moment last week at the library where I saw the little story time through a closed door, my 4 year old in tow. He looked through the window and informed me that he did not want to go. I felt this intense sadness as I realized that the baby phase of our household was indeed, over. There would not be random trips to the library all year long in the mornings. There would be no deciding each morning how to split our day between mommy’s pursuits and little one’s. I cried that day. I couldn’t believe all of this part of my life was ending! And how it had zoomed by me-even though certain moments seemed to never end, the really loud, annoying ones.
And when we got home that day and it took me 20 minutes to negotiate terms of getting out of the damn car in our garage that is approximately 120 freaking mother freaking degrees, I realized that I had truly taken advantage of every moment of my children’s childhood. I had spent nearly every waking moment and not enough sleeping moments with them. I had given 120%, and I had no regrets.
So I sit here at my computer, trying to decide which part of my small, quiet universe I will tackle next. I might put on some opera or maybe some porn. Either way, it will be something I don’t get to do when the kids are home! See, I’m even getting a kick out of myself! I’m pretty fun when I’m peaceful!
And when I pick up those kids this afternoon, I am going to wonder which thing they said today that I didn’t hear. What secret thoughts they had I’ll never know. What wonderful new dreams they have. And I’m going to feel so lucky they get to come home to me! Here’s to making the most of every moment! And here’s to quiet time—and just being me!